Not your type (?)  

aflower2c 43F  
3489 posts
2/14/2018 3:44 pm
Not your type (?)

Sexy bloggers,
Let's see
I have been around dating sites long enough to have a pretty good feel about preferences, more specifically men's wording and his preferences when it comes to attraction.

When I read a profile and he states something along the lines of:
"Seeking hot/beautiful/attractive/sexy woman"
I pretty much just pass him by because experience has proven over again n again that he is 99% referring to conventionally attractive women.

My same experience applies to attractive/handsome men, generally they look for someone hotter then he is.

BUT... why don't (many) men believe me when I say that I'm not his type nor what he is looking for?
Do you not like the fact that you stated that you want attractive so that really does mean that you want attractive and I think most women have a pretty good grasp on where they stand on the "attraction scale" (#notallwomen) ...

So then he proceeds to make a big deal about not being "shallow" and that he's "open to everyone"! Pesters me into sharing a face pic........then he ghosts.
So much for not being shallow

Don't worry I am so used to it that I don't even bother trying. pays to know where you stand on the average scale. Lol. And yes the hookup guys are the worst when it comes to this, so don't believe it when they say men can get it up for a stiff breeze. I'm on a dating site that seems to have lots of attractive men on it, so I won't be meeting anyone soon on there.

So sexy bloggers,
Are you as open as you claim?
Do you get angry when she points it out that you want hot?
Or if she thinks she's hotter than she actually is?
(I think that's a catfish thing)
What about your preferences, set in age group and attractiveness?

(The younger she is the less hot she can be because yanno she's young)
Now I am not talking absolute troll material, just the average scale to hot.

Little miss flower

Written from a small city middle of no where kink thinkin kinda gal.

aflower2c 43F  
9877 posts
2/14/2018 3:46 pm

Just ran into this lately on the dating site.... so humiliation isn't my thing.
But when a guy claims he's open then sees a pic then disappears that gets pretty old fast.
So the safest thing for me to believe: men just want hot conventionally attractive women and the younger the better.

Little miss flower

Written from a small city middle of no where kink thinkin kinda gal.

aflower2c 43F  
9877 posts
2/14/2018 3:49 pm

I'm going to hide the responses for now, so answer how you want.
Yes I fully understand that We all have preferences. ...

Little miss flower

Written from a small city middle of no where kink thinkin kinda gal.

wantaplay8 65M
3045 posts
2/14/2018 4:16 pm

Not a clue as to WHY!
Some just can't except what you write to them I guess.

aflower2c replies on 2/14/2018 6:35 pm:
Yes, I know that is part of the reason.... maybe its an ego thing and he doesn't like to be proven wrong (that gasp a female is telling the truth)

proteus_2a 52M
4945 posts
2/15/2018 2:45 am

As long as a lady shows real spirit and is roughly in my league,it's basically ok
Otherwise, no need to joust and hassle ...

Cheers - P

aflower2c replies on 2/15/2018 6:01 am:
Yes... but do you treat good looking women better than you would an average looking one?

Exper1mental1st 41M
88 posts
2/17/2018 2:26 am

"conventional" beauty is thrust down our throats and into our brains so much now through the media that it is difficult to not become conditioned to it and to realise that the normal is not flawless skin, perfect hair, pneumatic boobs and washboard stomach.
So everyone ends up chasing the same "ideals", with unrealistic expectations, rather than seeing the beauty in the people all around them.
Increasingly women are falling into this trap too, and blokes have no chance of matching up to the media images of perfection.

aflower2c replies on 2/17/2018 8:51 pm:
I think women are falling into more n more is because they are subjected to it from the day they enter puberty...and it doesn't get any better as you grow into being an adult. They must figure it out after being subjected to it over n over again, then they finally learn to dish it out and own it.

I have definitely picked up some "man" traits because I figure whats good for the man must also be good for the woman! I have learned to be very selfish and shallow with some, especially when it comes to sex.

Leegs2012 45M
25948 posts
2/17/2018 8:15 am

Things in common make a great match!!

aflower2c replies on 2/17/2018 8:51 pm:
Yes, common ideas and goals generally help.

gattomonstrosis 52M
762 posts
2/18/2018 2:23 am

A lot of them think they are the only one who gets a choice, whomever they show any interest in *must* return it tenfold.

aflower2c replies on 2/18/2018 8:28 am:
Interesting view

I know I wont even bother with men that I find "very conventionally attractive/magazine worthy" because I know that they don't see me as a real person.

I also think that men either find themselves far more attractive than they really are, or they don't even think about how they look in terms of being attractive to the opposite sex. So you will see men that are 5's hitting on 10's ...but then he is playing the odds, hit on enough hot women and one will eventually say YES. So to him it was worth the rejection.
That is something I am trying to learn!

gattomonstrosis 52M
762 posts
2/18/2018 10:51 am

    Quoting aflower2c:
    Just ran into this lately on the dating site.... so humiliation isn't my thing.
    But when a guy claims he's open then sees a pic then disappears that gets pretty old fast.
    So the safest thing for me to believe: men just want hot conventionally attractive women and the younger the better.
What exactly is 'conventionally attractive' anyway? I can think of loads of actresses and supermodels that the world seems to think are hot stuff but who i really don't see what all the fuss is about, i'll take a Janeane Garofalo over a Megan Fox any day.

aflower2c replies on 2/18/2018 9:43 pm:
Pretty much the women you see in fashion magazines or the movied. The pretty chick that makes you look twice. The hot cheerleader type you fantasize about.
The one you want to show off to your friends.

dan_nl_2006 36M
1005 posts
2/18/2018 9:27 pm

I think sometimes guys are after “hard to get” woman and as soon as they have gotten the pic they think “they got the girl” or as someone said they want a positive reply bcuz they have shown interest.

I am not gonna say that I don’t appreciate traditional beauty standards. But for me a mind connection or chemistry or personality or similar interest are more important. The traditional beauty comes and goes. It is connection that keeps the flame alive.

aflower2c replies on 2/19/2018 5:25 pm:
I totally understand that most guys want pretty faces, I don't argue that point.... but what I am saying is that they don't believe me when I say I am not thier type because in his profile he specifically stated he was looking for "attractive/beautiful/hot/fit/athletic/thin" types of descriptors. BUT they pester for a pic claiming they aren't shallow like that...but as soon as they get the pic they pretend they are into the convo for a few more messages then dissappear. Plus many don't like to proven wrong!
Same goes for attractive men, I won't even bother sharing my pic now because I know from experience he would only be using me or he will just ghost out.

gattomonstrosis 52M
762 posts
2/19/2018 11:05 am

The hot cheerleader doesn't do anything for me, i like larger women

aflower2c replies on 2/19/2018 5:19 pm:
Fair enough, but still a pretty face.

proteus_2a 52M
4945 posts
2/20/2018 2:58 am

    Quoting proteus_2a:
    As long as a lady shows real spirit and is roughly in my league,it's basically ok
    Otherwise, no need to joust and hassle ...

    Cheers - P
" you treat good looking women better than you would an average looking one?"
Generally as I said , here on the shadows of the interwebs it's easier to play with wit and flair - tending to dim appearances
Other than that, It's etiquette that counts with me around here
Hope I answered your query my lady
Cheers - P

discreteSteve62 55M  
1633 posts
2/21/2018 12:42 am

Oh, my, I've written way too much.

My first wife was cute, but not conventionally attractive, and often overweight. Her main attractiveness was a positive personality that made her pleasant company.

During most of the year between the end of my first marriage and meeting my now-wife, I was with an ex-model. Aside from one eye that was a bit funny-looking, she was very much conventionally attractive. (When she did modeling, the shots either obscured her funny eye with hair, showed her face in profile, or photoshopped.) But she was also a horrible person, and when I came to my senses I dumped her. Pictures I've seen in recent years suggest that her appearance isn't holding up very well, which is pretty unfortunate for her because her self-image is so strongly tied to what others think of her.

My wife has a beautiful face, a lot like a 1940s movie star. (I'm trying to remember which one I had in mind.) Her figure is also conventionally attractive. But she's in her 40s, which would probably reduce the attention she would receive if she were on the dating market, even if she's still darn good looking. I like her for a lot more reasons than her looks, or I wouldn't have married her; her appearance is a nice bonus though. But the first impression was based on appearance, and I might not have learned about all her other favorable traits if her looks hadn't caught my attention first.

If I were unattached, I'd be pretty flexible. For relationship potential, top priorities would be good character and general compatibility; youth and beauty would be bonus factors (and things that would catch my attention more quickly, since most other things take more time to discover). I might even be suspicious if someone exceptionally attractive or particularly young showed interest.

For just fooling around (either if I were unattached or out on a pass), I might wish for attractive and young, but settle for available, enthusiastic, and OK-looking. There's kind of a vague scale of nice face, nice body, and youth, so that if the combination reaches a certain point I'd be interested. (The last time I was free for casual encounters, a woman with a plain face, somewhat fat body, but 25 years younger was a definite "yes", and a date with a woman with a nice face, great body, and five years older would have been a "yes" if she had been looking for a hook-up.) Also, I'd definitely make a sincere effort to make the experience good for the hypothetical woman, because mutual pleasure is always better, even in a casual hook-up, and has the additional benefit of improving the chances of more pleasurable encounters with the same person.

Based on what I can see from the pictures you've shared, you're well into the "hot" end of the scale to my eyes, and younger than I am.

aflower2c replies on 2/21/2018 6:08 pm:
Like I have mentioned before, many casual sex guys are not interested in mutual pleasure, and they will only put effort into the sex if she is attractive.

In the dating world its much harder to find people, unless you are on the very top end of the attractive scale because MOST times he will go for as attractive as he can, and any women that is not attractive will duely be used as a hookup then discarded.

gattomonstrosis 52M
762 posts
2/22/2018 12:30 pm

aflower2c replies on 2/20/2018 1:19 am:
Fair enough, but still a pretty face.

That's a tough one, it can sound so condescending to say beauty is only skin deep, it's the beauty inside that matters yada yada yada, we all have media created standards of beauty shoved down our throats a thousand times a day that have more to do with makeup and photoshop than anyone you can imagine dragging themselves out of bed at 6am with hair all over the place and crawling to the kitchen for that first cup of coffee looking like something out of the walking dead.

I mean yes, a person should at least be attracted to someone they are going after and not sitting there thinking "Great personality, shame he\she's not better looking" otherwise what are they doing?
But on the other hand the more you get to know someone and like them the prettier they might be and it not be anything to do with whether or not they look like a photoshopped model on the cover of a titty mag, interest does make a difference.

Of course there are plenty of blokes for whom it's the photoshopped dolly or nothing but since they rarely look like Leonardo Dicaprio themselvesthey can pretty much go fuck themselves.

aflower2c replies on 2/22/2018 6:52 pm:
I have actually had men say that to me - usually along the lines of "I wish you where prettier!",

or "I wish you where younger then I would date you!" (coming from a guy close to my age),

or "if you where 5 lbs lighter I would totally date you" (when I was a balmy 127lbs)

or (may fav stab in the gut) "how can you even have a sex drive! I mean you aren't even pretty!!" (apparently only hot chicks can have a sex drive and write like me)

So my experience has been valid, I am not some hot chick having a bad hair day and going onto social media crying that shes soo ugly then fishing for virtual ego boosts of guys proclaiming how beautiful she is and going on n on about how beautiful how hot how attractive how perfect she is.
Ya nope, I get the real side to men, and I especially know how they treat less attractive women (meaning me).

Many/most Men are told to aim for the best looking women at all costs, and treat all the others like disposable people. Its just how North American society is.

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